Maunday Thursday

This has to be the church service that pulls at my heart strings the most. I am an Episcopalian so we have traditions that go back to the time of Christ. We gather and sing, then wash each other's feet, then continue with the Last Supper. At the end of the service those of us in the choir quietly leave and the priest, deacon and acolytes with the help of the Altar guild strip and wash the altar, blow out the candle that signals that the Sacrament is there and in this parish, literally pushes the altar to the side as they set up a place to sit and pray through the night. Tomorrow we go through Good Friday with it's stark images of Christ giving the ultimate sacrifice for my eternal soul. I have to remember that He thinks I am worth it, even when I have trouble with that concept. This is the perfect time to reflect and learn the difference between happiness and Joy. I am finding that Joy is not dependent on my job, my family, or anything except my learning to forgive others and myself, to let go of the past and embrace the now. Happiness comes from reaching goals, helping others, playing with my children and grandchildren. Joy comes from letting go of those things that separate us from God.

We had manifestation of abundance this evening. As I got home from church, my eldest son, his wife and children were in front of our house unloading 5 boxes of food. I have spent the week knowing that we had less than $10 in our bank accounts and almost every cent from my paycheck has to go to standard bills and medical bills that have accumulated. Every time I would feel the panic start to rise, I say: "I have money in the bank and my supplies are overflowing with abundance so we can share with our neighbors." So we now have 20 pounds of avocados and another 15 pounds of tomatoes! We also have rice and potatoes enough to share. Other than milk and our Easter Ham, I do not need to purchase any food for at least two weeks!

Praise be to God!